Think about the things you say to yourself. How many things do you say to you that you would never in a million years say to others? We homeschool moms are especially prone to self bullying ourselves, and it’s time we stop.
You suck at homeschooling, you can’t even make it through a whole week without losing your temper at least once over schoolwork.
You’re not a good mom! You lose your temper way too often and focus too much on performance.
You’re not a good wife, you never give your husband the time and attention he deserves.
You’re not a good housekeeper, your house is always on its ear!
You’ll never be truly successful, you don’t even contribute to your family.
Would you ever say these things to a stranger? A friend? I would never, and yet I say them to myself constantly. These are the things that I say to me, and I’m not proud of it. When and where did I learn to talk to me this way? I have no idea but for as long as I can remember I have.
Recently, I began to pay attention to the young girls around me….did they talk to themselves this way? Yes, they do. I overheard a tween say out loud that she was terrible at a sport (when in fact she is amazing at it). I overheard the same child say that she felt worthless. I was shocked and a bit shattered by that last part, a young child who feels worthless. I started thinking, maybe it’s during these critical tween and teen years that we begin the downward spiral into talking so poorly to ourselves. If I could rewind time, what would I say to me? How would I help myself to grow into an adult who does not bully themselves?
To the me who felt worthless, I would say:
- You’re not worthless, you are priceless.
- You are so priceless God sent his only son to die so that YOU could be restored to him.
- Your worth is far above that of rubies.
- You are made in the image of the Creator God who loved you and numbered your hairs.
- You were knit for a purpose far greater than you ever have considered.
- When you tell yourself you are worthless, you are calling God a liar….so STOP.
To the me who felt unloved, I would say :
- Your Abba Father, God, has loved you with an everlasting love. He called you before you were born, and he knit you perfectly. He has set his eye upon you and called you his own. He has thoughts for your good and prosperity, and he has sacrificed his Son Jesus just for you.
To the me who felt like I would never get things right, I would say:
- He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars the Sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars, BUT He’s still working on me How loving and patient he must be!
To the me who felt I had no real friends, I would say:
- Greater love hath no man than this, that he would lay down his life for his friend. Jesus did this for you, he is your friend, your shelter, and your strongtower.
As I began to think about all the things I would say to me I realized that when we talk to ourselves this poorly, we are calling God a liar. It was then that I realized….when we are telling ourselves we are worthless, failures, friendless, etc Satan is using us. Satan is using our very own mouths to lie to our own ears. Satan comes but for 3 reasons in our self talk…to steal (our joy and our peace), to kill (our self worth), and destroy (our self esteem). Satan knows we would never accept someone else to talk to us in the fashion we speak to ourselves, so he uses our own thoughts and self talk to tell ourselves the lie. It’s time we recognize that and put a stop to it. The next time you find yourself beating you up, stop and repeat the following: ” I am priceless, I am made in the image of God, and Satan cannot use me to lie to myself today.”